Sullivan church of Christ – Sullivan, MO
Date: August 7, 2005
SEASONED SPEECH
Ben Justice
Nothing marks a man’s character any more than does his speech. What we say
defines who we are. The Bible teaches how Christians are to talk to their fellow
man. Paul wrote in Col. 4:6, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with
salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” In this passage, Paul
spoke of “seasoned speech.” It is speech “seasoned with salt.” The language is
obviously figurative. It certainly seems from the context that Paul was
addressing how Christians are to talk with those “that are without” (see v. 5).
Those “without” refer to those outside the body of Christ. This implies that
Christians will have to deal with people of the world. This includes having to
discourse with them. In v. 6, Paul spoke of giving an “answer” to every man.
This is analogous to I Pet 3:15, wherein Peter penned, “But sanctify the Lord God
in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a
reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.” Notice the parallelism.
In both passages (Col. 4:6 & I Pet. 3:15), Paul spoke of answering every man, and
he also spoke about the proper way in which to answer every man. In Col. 4:6,
Paul said that our speech should be seasoned with grace, and in I Pet. 3:15,
Peter said we should seek to give an answer with “meekness and fear.” In Eph.
4:15, Paul commanded that we are to speak the truth in love.
What does salt do? We all recognize that salt seasons food so as to make it
pleasing to the taste. So it is with our conversation. No one likes to hear
distasteful speech, especially when it is aimed at them. Sometimes, a person’s
words leave a sour taste in your mouth. Let’s notice some specific areas:
HUSBANDS & WIVES
The marriage bond is the place where love reigns supreme. Paul clearly taught
how agape love behaves in I Cor. 13:4-8. Husbands and wives would do well to
study these verses, and then ask themselves, “Do I live them out in my
marriage?” Speech is certainly included in love. How many husbands degrade
and demean their wives in front of others or even in the privacy of their own
homes? Is this how Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25ff)? I think not! Wives
can also be guilty of this. What kind of marriage is it when the husband
ridicules and puts down the wife? What kind of marriage is it when the wife does
the same? Such gets old real fast. Physical abuse is bad enough, but verbal
abuse can also do great damage. Husbands, how do you speak to your wife?
Wives, how do you speak to your husband? A man that has a godly and virtuous
woman has something that is more valuable than the most precious gems (Pro.
31:10). He ought to do as the husband did to his wife in Pro. 31:28 — “he
praiseth her.” The principle would also apply to the wife. Marriage can be a little
taste of heaven or a little taste of hell, and many times, what determines what it
will be is how husbands and wives speak to one another. If your husband has
expressed displeasure over the way you speak to him, then why not change for
the better! If your wife has expressed displeasure over the way you speak to her,
then why not change for the better! Our manner of speaking is kind of like a
drug in that it becomes habitual in practice. Over a period of time speaking a
certain way, it becomes a way of life. This can be a marriage destroyer. Husband
and wives ought to think about these things.
PARENTS & CHILDREN
Parents how do you speak to your children? Children, how do speak to your
parents? A home in which yelling occurs is not a good home. It is not a good
atmosphere in which to rear children. Paul commanded fathers, “And, ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Who would be so naive as to conclude that this command
has nothing to do with the way fathers speak to their children? The way fathers
(and mothers) speak to their children is certainly a part of the training process.
There are times when parents have to raise their voices to their children and
speak sternly. But, this is not yelling. Yelling is over the line and is nothing
more than verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is provoking the children to wrath.
Parents need to learn to control their emotions. This will go a long way in proper
child rearing. The child will grow up knowing how to speak themselves.
EMPLOYER & EMPLOYEE
We live in an ungodly world. There are many ungodly employers that do not know
how to speak to their employees. Of course, we can expect this. However, such
is truly a sad thing when Christians do the same. In Col. 4:1, Paul wrote,
“Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also
have a Master in heaven.” Christian masters had the responsibility to deal fairly
and equitably with their servants. The principle would certainly apply to
employers and employees today. If you are a Christian employer, what do your
employees think of you as a person? Are you known for speaking kindly to
them? Or, are you known for yelling and screaming and constantly putting them
down? Do your employees enjoy having you as their boss? Good speech can go a
long way in the employer and employee relationship. When employees are
treated right, then the company will prosper. I am convinced that the reason
many companies have such a high turn over rate is because the employers do
not know how to properly and fairly deal with people. Such is sad, because it
affects us all.
SAINT & SINNER
We have already briefly addressed this particularly point. The Bible teaches how
Christians are to speak to people of the world in evangelizing. No one wants
someone to tell them they are going to hell in a hand basket. Granted, it may be
necessary at times to tell someone they are going to hell. Jesus did exactly this
when speaking to the Pharisees (Matt. 23:15, 33). It may take this to wake
someone up. But, even then, the Christian has no right to be ugly and unkind.
Jesus was certainly not unkind and ugly, even when he spoke this to the
Pharisees. Jesus was the most loving man to have ever walked the planet. We
are to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Let us remember that how we speak to
the sinner can make all the difference in the world. It is true that every person
is different and thus calls for different approaches. The way you speak to one
person may not be exactly the way you would speak to another person. This is
clearly seen in the life of Jesus in how he dealt with people.
Let us all remember that the world is watching, and not only watching but
listening. The question is, “What do they hear?”