Sullivan church of Christ – Sullivan, MO
Date: December 7, 2008
FAILING OUR CHILDREN
Ben Justice
There is a sad reality facing the Lord’s church today. That reality is spiritual delinquency among young
people. One writer noted that in the church we are losing 50-90% of our young people after high school
graduation. One of the most obvious reasons is that parents are no longer teaching their children spiritual
values and setting the right example as parents once did in the church. Let’s be honest: Many parents are
failing their children and don’t even realize it.
There was a survey published in a religious publication a while back in which it analyzed the question of
faithfulness among the children of “church-goers.” It was found that faithfulness in kids was not a function
of:
1.) The size of the congregation
2.) The number of classes and special programs sponsored by the church
3.) The effectiveness of the “youth minister.”
Rather, it was learned that in cases where both parents were faithful and active that 93% of their children
remained faithful to their religious training. We now have in the church more “youth ministers,” more
“programs for our youth,” more “recreation in the church,” more “fun and games in the church,” and more
“youth rallies” than ever before, yet the church is losing its young people at an alarming rate.
Whereas the survey said that 93% of children remained faithful when both parents were faithful and active,
it also revealed that only 6% of children remained faithful where parents attended infrequently and were not
involved at all in the local church.
According to Psalm 127:3-4, children, like arrows, are to be launched toward a singular target. For Christian
parents that singular target is heaven.
When Joseph was sold into Egyptian slavery at the hands of his brothers, it was Reuben who said to them,
“Do not sin against the child” (Gen. 42:22). It is true all too often that parents sin against their children
when they neglect the spiritual welfare of their children.
It is often the case that when children reach the teenaged years that parents often have a “hands-off”
approach when it comes to their children, often allowing them to do basically want they want, even though
they still live under Mamma and Daddy’s roof. Our children will not be faithful to the Lord if we allow them
to do as they please. Parents fail their children in many different ways. Please note the following:
1.) Parents often fail their children by allowing them to attend secular activities at the same time church
services are scheduled. Parents sin against their children when they allow them to go to a ball practice or
game at the same time the saints meet. Parents shouldn’t be surprised when their children are not faithful
in attendance when they reach adulthood. Other activities would include school outings — allowing their
children to take school trips knowing that they will miss the services of the church. This is not seeking
first the kingdom of God (Matt. 6:33).
2.) By the time children reach working age — usually 16 — they eagerly start seeking employment to make
some money to be able to buy that first automobile and once bought to pay for insurance and other things.
Why is it the case that parents will allow their 16 year old son or daughter to work on Sunday and
Wednesday at the same time of services? It is not like they have to work at these times as long as they are
living under Mamma and Daddy’s roof. It is not the case that they are on their own and have to pay the
bills. Parents ought to inculcate an attitude early on in life to seek employment wherein they can attend all
the services of the church. But, when parents allow their children to start early on working at the appointed
times of services, it becomes a way of life, and they learn that the church is not really all that important.
3.) I have heard parents ask, “Should I make my children attend church services?” It is sad that a question
should even be raised by parents. If little Billy announces that he isn’t going to school Monday morning,
how do parents answer? Little Billy goes to school! What if little Susie says, “I’m not taking a bath?” Little
Susie bathes! We need more fathers like Joshua, who said, “ . . . as for me and my house, we will serve the
Lord” (Jos. 24:15). Parents must stop allowing their children to have their way by allowing them miss the
assemblies of the saints. What a poor example we set parents when we permit them to go fishing or
hunting or to attend a ball game or to go out with friends or to take a school field trip at the appointed times
for the saints to assemble. Parents are being tested every day with their children, and many are failing the
test.
4.) Parents set the wrong example themselves when they infrequently attend the services of the church.
Many are not faithful to come back on Sunday and Wednesday night. Children live what they learn. If they
see Mamma and Daddy not concerned about attending all the services of the church, then this is what they
will live out in their lives when they get older. Parents who have neglected to bring their children to all the
services of the church are guilty of spiritual abuse. They ought to repent and make every effort to set the
right example before their children.
Failing our children will come with a high price. It will continue to result in spiritual delinquency among our
young people. Sadly, many parents are simply not putting the Lord first. This includes seeing to it that the
children will be reared in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Parents can’t pretend to be instilling into
their children what is most important when their actions betray it. Let us not fool ourselves parents. We
need to be honest with ourselves and with our children. Have we allowed our children to come and go as
they please, to miss the services for secular activities, or to work during the times of services when we
know good and well they don’t have to?
Parents need to understand as well that just bringing their children to every service of the church is not
good enough. Yes, it is vitally important, but what are children getting at home? Do they ever hear Daddy
lead the family in prayer; do they ever hear Daddy lead the family in a Bible study; do they ever see Daddy
and Mamma truly putting the Lord first in the home? These are issues and questions that every parent
needs to consider. Parents will be held accountable. I would venture to say that there are many parents
that if they could do it all over again they would in a heart beat. Many parents know they have failed their
children, and they know it’s too late to do anything about it now. Parents can’t turn back time and redo it.
We only have our children for a very short time, and before you know it, they have left the nest and are on
their own. Their values in life and whether or not they truly put God first in their lives will be based upon
what Mamma and Daddy did. Some parents need to do some serious evaluation of these matters and
realize that the arrow is in their hands. What direction is it pointed?
QUOTES
“Men must choose to be governed by God, or condemn themselves to be ruled by tyrants.” (William
Penn — Founder of the State of Pennsylvania)
“Providence has given our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty as well as the
privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.”
(John Jay — First Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court)
“The moral principles and precepts contained in the scriptures ought to form the basis of all our
civil constitutions and laws.” (Noah Webster — American Pioneer Educator)